i've liked you for a thousand years
by Canadino
Summary: You can't stand to see me that way, no matter what I do, no matter what I say. KagaKuro, suggested GoM/Kuro


**Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the story idea and only some of the witty remarks. I own so little; so please don't steal.**

Background music: -

[=]

"So you're saying," Kagami Taiga, age 21, college student, said, "is that all your friends, the ones I've met, you've all slept with?"

"That's right, yes," Kuroko said. He was sitting next to the wall, white bedsheets wrapped tastefully around his waist and over his legs pulled lazily up toward his chest, smoking a cigarette and tapping ash onto the windowsill. Age 26, kindergarten-teacher-chain-smoker. The enigmatic boyfriend. Sometimes Kagami himself couldn't keep it straight. "Well, you're thinking it, aren't you? How I'm damaged goods, how I'm not pure."

"That's not true."

"It's true and I know it," Kuroko said, not even sparing him a glance. The moon lit up the smoke from him mouth to be an ashy white. "I've slept with enough idealistic college boys to know pity and disgust when I see it."

"No," Kagami insisted.

"No?" Kuroko challenged. His shoulders were solid, developed, and hunched from the weight of the world. Kagami had not yet felt such a thing.

"No," Kagami said. "Society says that people shouldn't sleep around, they should be responsible people and respectable but you can be that and still have an active sex life. I'm learning, or trying to. I'm not in high school anymore, and I don't have to think that way. Right?"

"I love you," Kuroko said simply, tossing the cigarette discreetly from the apartment's window. "But I don't need to hear that."

[=]

Kagami watched a little more closely the next time they met with Kise Ryouta, age 27, model-and-pilot-in-training, for afternoon coffee. He had never thought much of Kise's attachment to Kuroko or the ways he found excuses to touch him because Kise was the type of person to feel comfortable brushing his fingers against someone's shoulders while having a serious discussion. In greeting, Kise had grasped his upper arm affectionately and winked at him, and Kagami had thought nothing of it, but he stared when Kise wrapped an arm around Kuroko's shoulders in line at the cafe counter.

"It's really great that we could meet today," Kise said. "I really wanted to see you, Kuroko_cchi_. I haven't seen you in a while."

"Reign in your enthusiasm," Kuroko said, sipping at a macchiato.

Kagami wondered how Kise had held Kuroko, had he joked and laughed and pressed kisses to Kuroko's temple? Had he traced circles on Kuroko's shoulder blades when Kuroko gave him a blowjob, as Kagami had learned had been a thing Kuroko especially liked? Had he been the one to discover it?

"You're staring," Kise whined, a grin on his face as he squirmed in mock discomfort. "Am I that good-looking, Kagami_cchi_? Kuroko_cchi_, reign in your boyfriend!"

"Don't do that," Kuroko said when they walked to the bus stop after leaving Kise outside of his modeling agency. "Don't stare when you meet with them next. You make me uncomfortable and regretful at telling you anything, and I don't want to think about not being able to trust you enough to do that."

"I'm sorry," Kagami apologized. Kuroko ignored him and shoved his way through the crowd on the bus to stand in a spot alone at the back of the bus.

[=]

Kagami left the United States for college and went to the Japanese university that his father had attended when he was his age and that he received legacy from. While the Californian city he'd come from prided itself about its forward, progressive sort of mindset, he still considered attending a university far from home would expose him to more sorts of people and give him more experience with the world at large. At nineteen he followed a small group of friends from the dorm to a meet-and-greet with girls from other local colleges at a bar in downtown Tokyo and went home with an older man and had sex in a dark apartment on the floor. He woke up for his noon classes at ten-oh-five and the man had left for his kindergarten.

He found Kuroko outside at the cocktail party Murasakibara had thrown for everyone to celebrate the opening of his new restaurant. Kuroko was smoking a cigarette and flicking the vintage silver lighter he'd gotten from an ex that Kagami had never wondered about until now. "Before you ask," Kuroko said as Kagami got close enough to smell the cigarette smoke, "he had the biggest dick of anyone I'd ever had the pleasure of sleeping with."

"Oh," Kagami said, who couldn't say the thought hadn't passed his mind, what with how tall Murasakibara was and the almost unbelievable size of his shoes. You know what they say about guys with big feet.

"Of course," Kuroko added, lowering his cigarette and looking Kagami in the eyes, "size isn't the only thing, especially if it hurts."

"Uh huh," Kagami said. "Am I just the right size?"

Kuroko studied him, cigarette dangling from the right corner of his mouth before he took it out and put it out on the dull, metal railing. "Would you like to come to my place and we can determine?"

"But we've only been here for forty-five minutes."

"You don't look particularly eager to talk to my friends now are you?" Truth enough; Kagami allowed himself to be led by the collar out of the party, shrugging and casting his eyes upon Kuroko if he was stopped and asked. Kuroko drove them to his apartment and they were naked and rutting against each other within the hour. Kuroko did not like having sex with the lights on, and this was a fact that Kagami had accepted from their first sexual encounter, though now that he really thought about it, he recalled a casual comment Kuroko had made once about how once he had had sex one morning in the kitchen and how noisy and ridiculous it had been. Had that been someone Kagami had shaken hands with before?

"I'd love to see you like this with a little more light," Kagami whispered, easing a pillow under Kuroko's waist, two fingers lazily moving in and out. Kuroko was silent beneath him, a hand pressed tight to his mouth, but he reached up and pulled at the curtain until a chunk of moonlight fell upon his face down to his collarbone. It was faint and ghostly white, Kuroko's face a light flush, and it was enough.

[=]

It just so turned out that one of the doctors at the university's affiliated hospital, that students were encouraged to visit for any possible medical ailments, was one of Kuroko's friends. Kagami began wondering if there was anyone that Kuroko did not know. He had picked up a call from Kuroko - somewhat rudely, the doctor wrinkled his nose when his phone began to ring - and the doctor's face had changed after he'd hung up. "You know Kuroko Tetsuya?" the doctor asked.

Midorima Shintarou, age 26, pretentious medical intern had some of the longest and yet most skillful fingers Kagami had ever encountered. They were perfect at pinpointing the exact spot of any pain if described even moderately well. Kagami had come in for some muscle aches and Midorima had been able to accurately determine their exact spots.

Kuroko's sweet spot had been hell of a bitch to find, and Kagami doubted he could even do it alone had Kuroko not quietly guided him the second time around when they were both sober and aware.

He stopped by the kindergarten because it was on the way between the hospital - which he had stopped by to check on a cough he'd had lately - and it wandered lazily into his mind when Kuroko came to the gate after collecting the children back inside for naptime. "Midorima-_kun_ is currently dating Akashi-_kun_," he greeted.

"How did you know what I was thinking?" Kagami asked.

"As a teacher and caretaker, I have to be one step ahead of the curve," Kuroko said. "And Midorima-_kun_ called me earlier to tell me you were going to the hospital for a checkup today. He has a delusion that I actually care for your wellbeing."

"I care for yours."

"I'm just teasing you." Kuroko leaned up and pressed a kiss to his chin. "Seeing as the issue of my exes is a reoccurring thought to you whenever you see them, I figured you would be thinking about that."

"He's dating Akashi, you said?" Akashi Seijuro, age 26, pretentious rich daddy's boy. He could see how they had become a couple. He had been personally offended after his first meeting, where he had worn a watch he'd bought off the streets of Los Angeles only to have Akashi spare it one look before declaring it a fake. (He figured it had been a fake all along - thirty dollars for a used Rolex? - but it stung all the same.) Kuroko tumbling into bed with Akashi was an almost impossible image.

"For your interests, I held Akashi-_kun_."

"I wasn't thinking that," Kagami protested.

"Exactly," Kuroko agreed. "That's why I had to say so, to clarify."

[=]

They were having fights more frequently.

"Are we fighting more often lately?" Kagami asked.

"No, you're just imagining it," Kuroko said.

They yelled at each other. "You know, I always wondered," Kagami said, after Kuroko had told him he was too young and too inexperienced with the world to know about anything he was trying to talk about, and maybe that was true, but nevertheless, "what was up between you and Aomine. I always thought you two were a little too close and knew each other a little too much to be just friends. What's up with you always going to him for little things and asking him for help? Am I really that unreliable, or do you still have a thing for him?"

"It always goes back to that, doesn't it?" Kuroko shot back. "You can't get over the fact that I've been with a lot of people. Which strikes me as strange, because even if you want to ignore the whole double standard thing, it still stands that I'm not a girl."

"That's not what I meant," Kagami insisted.

"I go to Aomine for things because you have school and classes to worry about and that's the most important thing for you, or at least, it should be. He's my best friend, so it's normal that I would talk to him about things that worry me, isn't it? For things I don't want or need you to be concerning yourself with. I want you to do well and graduate and be able to do everything you want to. It isn't selfish of me to want that for you, isn't it?"

"You think I'm your mother," Kagami huffed, thinking two things at once about Kuroko deeming him unreliable and talking like his mother. Kuroko only spared him a look for his slip up, which was generous because Kagami knew Kuroko had the capability of tearing him apart for it.

"I only slept with him once, and it was a mistake in itself. Looking back, I guess it wasn't because it only made us more sure we weren't meant to be together like that. It was a high school thing and I felt we were drifting apart even though we were always talking and spending time together but we would never be intimate. We both thought we would be better suited as just friends because it was awkward as hell but I guess we'd never admit it. So that's it. While we're airing out dirty laundry, why don't you share too? I know for a fact I'm not your first relationship."

"That isn't..."

"Aomine and I were meant to be friends and I'm starting to think that maybe we were too." They stand on opposite ends of the living room. "Please get out of my apartment, Kagami."

Kagami left for campus, but Kuroko knew him better than he thought because when he was back the next day unannounced, Kuroko was out. A neighbor had told him Kuroko had asked her to forward any of his mail to a person named Ogiwara. Kagami had never heard of such a name. The neighbor seemed to but would not elaborate. "You're Kagami, aren't you," she said, before slamming her door in his face. "I heard everything yesterday."

For instructional purposes, Kagami had really considered himself as only having dated two other people. He did not count the high school homecoming dates as anything special and frankly he had forgotten them already. When he was in seventh grade, he briefly dated Alex Garcia, age 24 (age 16 when relevant), blonde bombshell. He had thought her beautiful and pretended he was older than his years and she had believed him until she finally saw a school issued letter addressed to him. The goddess that she was, she had not broken up with him but further refused his advances to do anything more than to hold hands in public. His dreams of beating everyone in his grade and getting laid at thirteen were bust. She broke up with him to go to college just as he joined her in high school and she was at M.I.T studying computer science and now worked for a software company.

In the tenth grade, he dated Himuro Tatsuya, age 22 (age 17 when relevant), brooding poet. So in actuality, he'd had experience dating older people. Himuro was the only other Japanese in his study hall and listened to him complain. At age seventeen, Himuro had won a pair of matching rings at a street fair and gave one to him and it made Kagami's heart pound and his palms sweat. At age eighteen, Himuro was attending UC Berkeley and expected Kagami to do the same and Kagami - went to Japan.

His breakup with Himuro had been loud and difficult and Kagami thought it was over because he was already too different from Himuro for them to date and Himuro thought it was over because Kagami was too insensitive to stand. Kagami thought that maybe they were both right when he moved into the university dorm the first day. Still, he had not spoken with Himuro since and they had only tentatively reconciled at the airport, with Himuro saying without meeting his eyes that they could be friends.

Three days after Kuroko broke up with him, he called Himuro.

"What's your problem?" Himuro said after three years without really speaking.

"I got dumped recently."

"Congratulations. It's two in the morning here. You woke Scott up. I have work in six hours."

"Who's Scott?"

"My boyfriend. What's your problem, Kagami? Make it fast."

"Do I have a problem? Is there something about me that can't make relationships last?" He swallowed his words. "I'm sorry, by the way. For everything before."

"Who is this wonderful creature that can make you apologize like that and make you attempt to get in my good graces, hmm?" Himuro's voice was dry and husky, like he remembered it whenever he woke him up before the alarm. It was something Kagami had used to miss, but now thought of it as somewhat platonically endearing.

"It's a long story, but basically I'm dating - or was, now - someone way older than me and he broke up with me because I was getting obsessive about his exes."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I'm insecure and shouldn't be dating anyone older than me."

"Good, and?"

"It means I'm still holding on to that stupid high school mentality I had about being proud of being someone's first boyfriend even though that's stupid as fuck and I need to get over it. It means I'm getting caught up on little things and maybe I shouldn't be dating him if I was thinking about that."

"Is that it?"

"Yeah," Kagami said. "That's it."

"Well, I still hold a lot of things against you but that's discussion for another day. If you're calling me, it means you want to fix things, right?"

"That's it. That's the thing, I don't know if I do. Or if I should. I think I want to. But I don't know."

"Don't call me about these things if you don't know. I still have a bone to pick with you, Taiga."

"Sorry. I really am. I'll...call you back sometime, okay? For real this time."

Himuro sighed into the phone and Kagami remembered it as something he never really liked about Himuro, the way he sighed instead of speaking even though he had a lot to say. The thing he never liked about Kuroko was the way Kuroko said everything he wanted to say, especially if it hurt, but they were almost always true. "Call me back later," Himuro said finally. "You have more important things to do right now."

A general search engine search provided no results for an Ogiwara that would even be remotely connected to Kuroko, and he had called the kindergarten and there was no teacher there by that name. He had at least five different people he could consult, but Kagami decided he would place his bets on the safest choice.

"I'm surprised you called me," Momoi said, age 26, master analyst. She had no desire to have coffee like Kise might have or insist upon lunch or dinner as Aomine might; when Kagami called for a meeting, she had offered a time and a place - two fifteen in a hipster bookstore in a Tokyo sidestreet. The inside was designed like a little alcove inside the trunk of a tree. Momoi picked out some books, made her purchases, and took him upstairs to a small, secluded place with two armchairs next to the window overlooking the main street. "I wouldn't have suspected."

He would have resisted before but now he was in too deep so he said, as she carefully opened the hardback and gently ran her hand down the spine, "Did you sleep with Kuroko?"

"Yes."

"You're not surprised I asked that?"

"Tetsu-_kun_ sent us all mail a few days ago telling us you'd be interested in that sort of thing and not to be offended about it. He didn't sound very happy about it. Is that why you two broke up?"

"Sort of. Probably."

"It's nothing that unusual, really. You know those things where if there's a big group there might be more inclination to date inward? Groupcest, if you will." Momoi took it very well. Kuroko had taken it well too, now that he thought about it. He had not thought twice about telling him about that part of him. "Tetsu-_kun_ was very excited when he told us he was dating you, you know."

"Was he? Did he tell you about me?"

"Tetsu can be really tight-lipped about a lot of things, but yes, he did. It was quite a scandal, you know. We thought Kise would be the first to seduce a college student. He really liked you, you know, so he was a little scared." She tucked the hair falling into her face behind her ear; it fell upon her chest, still prominent despite wearing a sweater. "He was afraid you were a college student and you'd get bored of him or you'd find someone else who was closer and he got really crabby when he thought about stuff like that! You remember anything like that?"

Kagami could always tell when days would be bad for Kuroko by the way Kuroko talked, a little nervously in the mornings and he tended to avoid corners with wide, round turns. It tended to culminate into a very irritable Kuroko that Kagami often coaxed to bed to sleep it out, or if Kuroko met with any of his friends, an argument sparked over something Kagami could not wrap his mind around. "Oh," he said.

"You're a very honest guy, Kaga_min_, so you dwelling so much on this freaked him out. But he should have known, really; you'd be the type to think about this once you found out."

"I wasn't thinking about it in a bad way, not against him or anything."

"Hmm," Momoi said.

"I really wasn't."

"I believe you."

"Who is Ogiwara?"

"I'm not a snitching type of girl," Momoi said, reading the page with mach speed. "But seeing how anxious you are and how Tetsu hesitated when I mentioned you the last time I saw him, I guess I can give a hint." She wrote a set of numbers and a riddle on a piece of paper. "But I can't tell you directly or Tetsu'd be mad at me. So you can just tell him I gave you this message." Kagami could not make heads or tails of it. "Just in case, that's the address, but I made it a challenge for you to figure it out."

"Thanks," Kagami said, scratching his head.

"You're welcome."

Ogiwara Shigehiro, age 27, long-suffering childhood friend, was a salaryman. He was optimistic and he was cheerful, but he was still a salaryman. "Get him out, please," Ogiwara said when Kagami showed up at his door and asked for Kuroko. "He's one of my best friends, but honestly I cannot take care of him and make it into the office at eight each morning. My apologies, and godspeed."

Kuroko was cooped up in the middle of Ogiwara's spare bedroom when Kagami came in, and he was calmly folding the small amount of clothing he had brought with him. "I didn't sleep with Ogiwara-_kun_," he said without turning around. "Before you even ask."

"Stop," Kagami said.

"We've known each other since we were babies. He's like a brother to me."

"You could sleep with everyone on his planet and I wouldn't care."

Kuroko finally turned to him, ice in his eyes. "You wouldn't?"

Kagami hesitated. At times like these, Kuroko could read into the depths of his soul. "Well, maybe I would. But you would too." Kuroko opened his mouth. "I've only dated two people. Their names are Alex Garcia and Himuro Tatsuya. I can give you their contact information and you can thoroughly go through every nook and cranny of my personal history. I would recommend Himuro; he's got real dirt on me."

Kuroko said nothing. Then, "I'm not happy with you, Kagami-_kun_."

"I'm not happy with you either, Kuroko-_sama_, but I promise not to badger you at home so would you please go back to your apartment and leave your friend alone?"

"Please," Ogiwara called from somewhere in the apartment. "Sorry, but please." He apologized again when they were at his door, though his smile had revitalized and he had clapped Kuroko on the back. "Sorry 'bout that, chap! But until I get into management, I can't have you bringing down my mood all the time. It's about morale."

"So much of a friend you are, Ogiwara-_kun_."

"But seriously," Ogiwara said, shooting Kagami a look that held a grin but his eyes were cold and threatening. "If anything else happens, I'm right here."

They walked aimlessly, somewhere toward Kuroko's apartment, and did not hold hands. "I said some things I shouldn't have," Kagami began.

"Yes, you did," Kuroko agreed. Kagami bit his tongue.

"And - it's really hard to convince you that you don't need to worry about me. You just have to trust me. I won't tire of you."

"Did you talk to Momoi-_san_?"

"Irrelevant. And yes, I did."

Kuroko wrinkled his nose. "She told you unnecessary things, then. And now you know them." His overnight bag, puffed with clothing, bumped steadily against his thigh. "I don't think we're right for each other."

"Maybe," Kagami said. "But I think I might want to date you."

"You want to date again?"

"Start over again. Maybe." Kuroko glanced at him and Kagami looked back, noting everything, the eyelashes so light they were almost translucent, the way he was developing faint wrinkles under his eyes. That mouth he kissed times before was not soft or particularly yielding; if anything, sometimes he felt like he was kissing a wall when Kuroko was unwilling. He didn't understand some of the time when Kuroko talked, and it was frustrating when Kuroko talked down on him and didn't notice. "What do you say?"

Kuroko shifted the bag across his shoulder to get it comfortable. "Maybe," he said, and reached out and grasped Kagami's hand, cold in Kagami's palm. He glanced up, unsure, and Kagami thought maybe he was in love with Kuroko.


End file.
